part 4. random thoughts.

1. "I love old people and people who are dying because they practice total sincerity and total honesty, like you." -s

2. I always wondered why anyone would ever go into psychiatry… Then I had a recent rotation. Rounds lasted 2 hours. Total. And they were fascinating. And they help people. On their schedule. Then they called it a day about an hour before lunch.

3. Hacer pinta = to play hookie.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=play+hookie.

A day in which liberty is taken upon oneself to exclude themself from school or work obligations while, most likely, pretending to be sick or having a death in the family. Usually this time is spent with a significant other (i.e. hookie for nookie), a sports activity (i.e. golf or playstation), or just plain sitting on ones ass all day editing & writing definitions for modern slang words over the internet. Commonly referred to as "playing hookie".

4. After 18 months, I think I can adjust to living anywhere. I no longer understand what I used to do all the time before living in Utah and became addicted to climbing, skiing, and hiking. Addicted to something else, I suppose.

5. Who would have thought my adult life would have so little to do with my siblings?

6. "it's amazing how off base we are about ourselves." -c

7. I can accumulate enough of a to-do list in stubborn procrastination to stress me out for a month, then get it all done within a 3 hour window of moderate motivation.

8. There is nothing quite as sweet as the elation that follows getting paged, then looking at the page and it is a text that has no relevance or consequence to me.. however, if it is a page with only 6 numbers, i am stressed out for the rest of the day.

9. who could have predicted I would ever move to seattle?

10. i will, really, honestly, truthfully, miss a lot of my clinic patients.

11. It's amazing, but eating mushrooms really never gets old. they are delicious.

12. my new soda water maker is my absolute favorite thing.

13. i'm so sad that there has to be a tradeoff between staying behind and moving away. remaining connected and exploring. it seems you really can't have both. it's either/or.

14. i have a relentless curse of having to overhear people having sex wherever I live. sigh. the current offenders are particularly obnoxious. Maybe my next move should be to a house.

15. I really, honestly, never thought I would finish this residency. Now it appears inevitable.

16. my continuity clinic is the very physical manifestation of bored chaos.

17. It seems obvious, but the percentage of our lives we spend around people that we are trying to impress or please is vastly less than the percentage of our lives that we spend in our own minds, with our chosen loved ones, or striving toward our hopes or dreams. It's important for me to remember that point.

18. i hope my job will be as I anticipate, but I am already guarding against the fatal blow of disappointment. I wish I could figure out a way to heal that cynical wound.

19. Is it better to sacrifice known treasures of your persona for the sake of selflessness, or to hold out for the ideal at the risk of becoming more selfish?

20. The troublesome thing in the many decisions I have laid in my future is… not that I don't know myself well enough, but more that I don't know what I want to become well enough.

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"Men don't get knocked out, or I mean they can fight back against big things. What kills them is erosion; they get nudged into failure. They get slowly scared.[...]It's slow. It rots out your guts."

~John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent

"The Silent World of Doctor and Patient" by Jay Katz