part 6. continued from 6/2012.

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1. cog·ni·tive dis·so·nance   /ˈkägnətiv/  Noun.  The state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, esp. as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. This takes on a new layer when a prior part of your identity used to be based on practicing complete self-honesty. This has recently been irrefutably challenged… It's suddenly harder to pinpoint where the honesty lies… I wonder if I have created excessive cognitive dissonance over things in which I actually do NOT feel strongly about and that is exactly why the dissonance has occurred…. 

2. I feel very happy and secure about my decision to go back to residency so far.. Even call is pretty fun. it's weird. Thank you, thank you. 

3. I love Philadelphia. Great city. 

4. Recently, I've been aggressively recruited into the Philadelphia Crossfit competition crew by my gym… which means I'm about to be seriously humbled. South Philly Rumble 6.1.13. 

5. Indecision is my bag. 

6. I learned last week that I can do 3 strict body weight pull-ups in a row, ya'll.

7. I want babies, but I'm afraid to be a single mom, get pregnant, or get married. Go figure. 

8. I miss my Utah lifestyle… particularly, the vistas. 

9. I want to go to South America next. 

10. While people-watching, I used to guestimate how long people would keep me hostage in an exam room talking incessantly and what their complaints were… Now, I imagine whether they would be difficult to intubate or not and calculate what their approximate induction doses are.. 

11. I went through withdrawal when I stopped eating peppermint patties last week. Sometimes, I still walk to the freezer and open the door to peer in, knowing they aren't there… I'm glad I was never a smoker.

12. Sleep is the best medicine. 

13. It's creepy to read through Dzohokhar Tsarnaev's twitter feed… Not because of what he says, just the idea of reading the thoughts of someone capable of certain things… like looking at the Van Gogh St Remy paintings… 

14. One of the most useful skills I learned in family medicine training was identifying whether a person (including myself) will communicate effectively with another person or not almost instantaneously. It saves so much time to recognize this, and teaches you to modify your communication style and actions very dynamically. 

15. discipline vs comfort? or discipline = comfort? My experience is the latter. Specifically, discipline + routine = comfort, however happiness = exploration + renewal + change. You see, this is my issue. 

16. One of the most frustrating, yet simultaneously satisfying arguments, is the Fundamental Disagreement. Neither of us can persuade the other that "I am Right"…. Instead, we have decided to encourage people who agree with us using propaganda which ostracizes the other side further. It's fascinating. 

I.e. The gun debate. We disagree, period. Comparing regulations on pressure cookers is a different idea and topic from regulations on guns to me…. We just plain disagree. 

I kind of like that. There aren't many examples of things that I can't be persuaded with a good argument. Good arguments generally win, but sometimes, there is this fundamental belief that is truly ideologically different amongst people regardless of how good the argument is. The gun debate is one of them. Socialist vs capitalist is another. It's purely fundamental. One problem is extrapolating connections between another's idealogies where they do not exist. 

17. "Accidental Racist" by Brad Paisley and LL Cool J is one of the worst things I've heard in a long long time.. 

18. I also kind of want to go to Tibet next… 

19. I hope Will goes to college in NYC :-)! (completely self-interested)..

20. Post-call days are the best for thought experiments and wasting time! 

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
-Kurt Vonnegut

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