UBF = WTF

-

I walked over to Utah's First Annual Beer Fest today.. This was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. The Utah Beer Fest was a congregation of a few hundred people, I'd say, all standing in line with little plastic 2oz cups! I'm not talking about a few people in line, I'm talking about snake-lines of hundreds of people! And they were all patiently waiting for little tiny shots of 3.2% beer! I started busting out laughing, which immediately got the attention of one of the 6 security guards lining the fence (to keep people from sneaking in..??), and he eyed me suspiciously.. Like I might be drunk, for example...


Anyway, I saw a few people I knew waiting in line with their tiny plastic shot glass cups aching for a refill, and I decided "Heck, I need to go experience Utah's Beer Fest if for no other reason than a sociologic novelty."


So I walk up to the ticket booth, and tickets were $35!!! I busted out laughing again, catching the eye of yet another suspicious security guard...


Then I notice a line through the price... with the words sketched out under it "Sold Out."...


Man, I sometimes wish New Orleans and Salt Lake City would get together for a one night stand just so SLC could learn what unbridled pleasure is all about... I just want to corrupt its pure little innocent soul so badly.. There is so much more to a festival than paying a lot of money to stand in retardedly long lines for a shot of weak-ass beer...


It made me feel like when you see a really fat person running, or hear a really tone deaf person singing...


Part of me wants to say, "Nice Try."


The other part of me wants to say, "Please stop it."


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Pleasure is wild and sweet. She likes purple flowers. She loves the sun and the wind and the night sky. She carries a silver bowl full of liquid moonlight. She has a cat named Midnight with stars on his paws. Many people mistrust Pleasure, and even more misunderstand her. For a long time I could barely stand to be in ...the same room with her...

- Ruth Gendler

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Innocence always calls mutely for protection when we would be so much wiser to guard ourselves against it: innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell, wandering the world, meaning no harm.

-Graham Greene


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Random thoughts, part 14: on death, love, and permanence.

-
Image
On death, love, and permanence.  1. The two times I have been touched by death - dad and paw paw - the thing that struck me most was how close they still were at that moment. They were right there, so close. Their bodies were right there, but their smell - gone. Their touch - distant. Their deaths were both so sudden, gone in an instant. My paw paw I was mentally prepared, but dad?? How was he sharing vacation photos with me just 3 weeks ago? How was he commenting on my photos the day before he died? How was he still warm and resting right in front of me when I had to say good bye, yet he was gone forever and couldn’t hear me? How did I not get a chance to tell him good bye and that I love him? Just gone in an instant.  2. My dad told me he loved me unconditionally. And I knew that. I hope he knew the same from me.  3. Dad,  I didn’t leave home because I reject it. I was just trying to carve my own way.   4. It’s not fair that his parents ...
Read more

Torres del Paine Patagonia Part 3: the “w” trek.

-
Image
Day 5: Refugio Grey - Refugio Paine Grande It’s Saturday morning. I wake up feeling better than I thought I would. My legs aren’t too sore. My cough is letting up. And now, I have 6 beautiful fresh tabs of Sudafed to use for the last 4 days of the trek. The sun is up outside. Things are looking up. There is a beautiful picture window next to our breakfast table where we can watch the birds fly in and out. There are a huge variety of birds in the park, and I wish I knew more about them. I can’t eat much at breakfast after watching my beans and rice come up last night, so I nibble. The hike should be easy today, 11km(7mi) and 3.5 hours, basically flat, over to Paine Grande. We pack up and say goodbye to our Australian friends. They’ll be heading out for some kayaking by the glacier today and possibly a glacier hike. I’m jealous of their rest day.  I’ll miss them.  We head out toward Paine Grande. I took one Sudafed with breakfast because I figure I won’t nee...
Read more

Mother’s Differential Diagnosis

-
Image
Is a broken heart a diagnosis?   You run ahead into the bathroom lone,  Stealing a quick glance as you disappear.  My heart leaps and aches, beating fast and strong.  My chest weighs heavy, squeezing and painful. I feel my heart swell when you reappear. Is this pericarditis? Heart failure?  Heart attack? Cardiomyopathy?    You frolic up the roller coaster ramp.  Choose your lonesome seat, scared but determined.  You lock eyes with me as the bar locks down.  Then you lurch forward as my abdomen  regurgitates to my esophagus.  I cannot swallow. It burns. Shallow breaths.  Is it GERD? Anaphylaxis? Panic?    You explore the block on your bicycle.  You look backward and wink and wave, I blink...  Did you leave? Turn the curve? Away from me?  Will the cars see you? Where will you pedal? Will you fall? Will you know what to do? My thoughts are paralyzed. My forehead throbs.  Is it a seizure? Aneurysm...
Read more